i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
