I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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