Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
