Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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