How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
