things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize