no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
