we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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