i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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