Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
