Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
