I am puke
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
