Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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