i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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