i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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