the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
