Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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