I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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