Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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