Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
