Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
