Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
