a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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