We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
