It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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