I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
