Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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