Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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