Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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