Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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