i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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