Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
