If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize