so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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