I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
