ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
