Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize