she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
