4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Couch. On fire.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
There's even glitter on my cock...
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