We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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