drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize