You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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