Duck Duck Cougar?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I want a musical about memes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
