wat bout pragnant strippers??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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