It's Friday. Sex?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
