Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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