I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
