just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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