what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
