My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
