the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
