I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize