I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
