Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I am one with the molecules
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize