throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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