The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize