he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Less talking, more tequila
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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