all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
