I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
