Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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