Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
